A very definite shift in rehearsals since our run through on Sunday. We got to rehearse in the theatre--running through the show without props, sets or the usual rehearsal items-checking out the space, the feel of the auditorium, etc. It is a generally useful day--no time to fix specific things, but time to imagine what it will be like when all of those production elements are there. It is an eye-opening experience--even for veterans--because it wakes you up. We've been kind of grooving in rehearsal mode for awhile and all of sudden we realize that we'll be doing it in front 1400 people, 9 times!!
When I'm in a show, having a Flynn rehearsal makes me take a closer look at both my backstage and onstage traffic patterns, "After this scene, I need to go change shoes on Stage left , then pick up my prop and reenter on SR...I wonder if I'll have time?" I look carefully at tape marks that mark set pieces and try to understand moving set patterns. I map out my entrances and exits and any changes or pick ups I have off stage --because it makes me feel more secure in what I am doing on-stage. I also "tech out" terribly--I''m a worrier and very impatient with letting things work themselves out. I want to know Right Now! how things are going to work. There is a general sort of ..."tightening up". It can be a good thing because actors start to pay a lot more attention to details of their rehearsal space. They ask a lot more questions and want to know a lot more details. The tricky part of this is that we can "lock down" too early. We have 31/2 weeks til our last rehearsal in the rehearsal space, and we have a lot more pacing, intensity and timing issues to work out. Things are not ready to "set" just yet.
What can happen is that the "tightening up" that I mentioned can turn into resistance. I start to hear "Yes, but.." when I am giving notes about a particular moment or piece of business. I find myself explaining why I want actors to do simple bits of business because they are reluctant to try it-it's one more thing to add, or they've already got it worked out, or it's right the way it is. Actors try to talk and think and strategize through something instead of taking the note and trying it on at the next rehearsal. Actors over-worry about props and set pieces, and want to know exactly what is going to happen. We want it to be done so we can stop thinking about it--especially after feeling that enormous performance space and seeing the reality (in 1400 seats!) of what we are trying to accomplish. We are all tired, many of us are run-down or ill, and we want to push away the problems--instead of pulling it closer and continuing to work through it.
I know I'm tired. My reserves are gone. I constantly crave sugar and carbs. I have a slight head cold and constant aches in my neck, back and joints. I'm tired to the point of stupidity--perilously tired, and I can't get my mind to stop--even when I'm sleeping. I need some drastic action to get myself ready for the final push, both for myself and my cast and crews. I want and need to be at my best, and I have to apply what I know about myself and my response to stress to combat old habits: Exercise, sun, cut back on carbs and sugar. Pretty simple, but challenging to break my own cycle of stress, sugar, crash, repeat ad infinitum.
I'm not sure if it's related to tiredness--I think it is, but Im not sure--but I've noticed a vary placating tone or approach in me as well. AS if I'm anxious to please and anxious that I don't ask too much of anyone...I think the key to fixing that is to really get a grip of sets, props, costumes, make-up changes then pull together my final plan and vision for the show. Why do i feel so...apologetic?? Weird. I have a sense that I'm going to need to pull out all the stops to get people over this last hump of resistance--and moving forward to streamlined, authentic, emotional story-telling. Maybe clarifying the purpose of each scene in the larger picture of the show will give me a clearer direction...and making decisions about tempo, driving energy, pace and "problem-solving". I really need to get a video camera...
That's all for now. i'm going to go sleep
to the barricade...
Kelly
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